Tag Archive | intimidation

Facilitator, Translator, Defender (Or, The Best R.E. Ever)

A few days after they said they’d donate their DNA to help test our embryos for Fragile X, my parents reneged until my husband Kyle and I could have a conversation with them.

The problem was, I was not emotionally capable of having the kind of conversation I knew they wanted. They’d want to challenge me about whether or not life begins at conception. I was afraid of telling them that I had made peace with the fact that our baby’s life would begin in a Petri dish and we would have to discard our unhealthy embryos. So I wrote a long email explaining why I felt it was OK. I tried to answer my dad’s questions and anticipate any future toughies, too. I spent so much time on it and my logic really seemed air-tight to me.

So when my dad wrote back saying that I hadn’t answered any of his questions, I was confused.

It was right around that time that my parents called my reproductive endocrinologist and grilled her about her religious beliefs. How the hell they managed to get ahold of her during the day like that, I have no idea, because I certainly cannot! But wow, Dr Avery was a champ. She grew up in a serious Catholic family herself so she understood these questions. They asked about her views on abortion; she said that while she personally does not perform them, she believes there are definitely many circumstances that would warrant one. They asked her how she could reconcile IVF with Christianity; she quoted, “Be Fruitful and Multiply.” They expressed exasperation that I wouldn’t talk to them; she explained that infertility is so emotional that sometimes a person just can’t talk about it.

My parents gave their blood samples and cheek swabs the very next day.

Dr. Avery received a very large gift basket from me that same day.

“Well, I can see why you have trouble talking with your dad,” she said. “He’s a pretty intimidating guy!” And she meant it. Dr. Avery: Ass Kicker, intimidated by MY dad?

More like Dr. Avery: Translator from English to God-speak.