Well, my kitty Bing just curled up in my lap with a vengeance, so I’m taking it as a sign that I should take a moment to write.
This week has been extremely tough for me. Several big work projects piled up for May and I just can’t seem to keep up mentally or physically. I’ve tried to carve out a little bit of relaxation time, but then I just end up feeling MORE anxious about getting everything done and MORE guilty that I’m not doing it. My mental CPU has so many things to process that everything in my head is running slowly and burning out the motor. Infertility always runs in the background, making me less capable of functioning well when presented with other stressors. I need more RAM!
A good friend pointed out that I have a tendency to take on new projects without letting something else go. I do this with work projects, of course, but also with big life changes. For example, getting married and moving into a bigger house requires more housework. Making appointments to try new violas takes time. My new chamber music concert series takes planning. Blogging takes mental capacity. And TTC takes A LOT of time, energy, money, and headspace. I had shaved some things off my schedule, but as evidenced by the way I’ve felt this week, it’s not nearly enough. In the absence of more RAM, I must delete some programs from my system.
Part of my problem is that, since I work mostly from home, my work follows me wherever I go, even when I think I’m relaxing.
Next steps to internal zen: Take less work. Separate work from pleasure! ❤
P.S. I'm sorely disappointed in the NCIS show for what they did with Palmer's infertility storyline. Poof, there is a bun in the oven! Grrrrr.