The OB Waiting Room, Post-D&E

For an infertile, there isn’t much worse than sitting in the OBGYN waiting room for a followup appointment after a D&E. I don’t know if it was because I was 15 minutes late to my appointment (freak midday traffic jam, ARGH), or if it’s just this OB’s MO, but an hour after I arrived, I was still languishing in the waiting room with the pregnant ladies, the newborns, and the couple who have another bun in the oven but clearly can’t even control the bun they already have.

Here’s a tip for you ladies who have just had a miscarriage and are forced to visit the OBGYN for a followup visit: Ask the receptionist IMMEDIATELY for an alternative place to sit other than the waiting room. This isn’t an uncommon request and they do try to accommodate you.

Unfortunately, I didn’t ask to be seated elsewhere, so I just went on my merry way filling out the paperwork amongst the fertiles.

When I got to:

“Number of Pregnancies?” 4.
“Number of Children?” 0.

…I lost it. Just sobbed right there in the waiting room. Not a single person seemed to notice, or maybe they all pretended not to notice. I had to ask the receptionist for Kleenex.

Other than that emotionally charged day at the OB and my current flu predicament, K and I are feeling much better, and I thank MLACS for checking in on me and inspiring me to post again.

K has thankfully returned to his usual happy, laid-back, hard-working, sporadically-helpful-around-the-house self. On Sunday while I was at work, he surprised me by going food shopping and making 2 healthy recipes we can heat up all week, plus a Waldorf salad using greek yogurt.

K’s difference in mood is mostly because his new job finally came through and he gave notice to his current one. Hooray! Plus… There is a significant pay raise involved. 🙂

Unfortunately his new health insurance plan SUCKS, and the policy says right up front that IVF will never be covered. So despite living in a state that requires infertility to be covered, I’m still forced to go buy my own, very expensive policy to cover more IVF. And in the process, I discovered that no company will approve more than 6 IVF cycles in my lifetime (unless there is an intervening live birth, after which I might get one or two more) even if those cycles were paid by a different company. So I guess we’d better make these last two count. Gulp.

But right now, I will try not to worry about that. Instead, I will enjoy the fact that, because I don’t have children, I am afforded the luxury of recovering from the flu without interruption. ❤

19 thoughts on “The OB Waiting Room, Post-D&E

  1. Yes, I went in for a follicle scan yesterday and they had forgotten to take the previous patient’s ultrasound off the screen–that choked me up. I’ll be blogging about that experience. The only “safe” time to be in an OB office is when you’re (viably) pregnant, IMO. I’ m starting to wonder where we need to live to get IVF coverage, like, which states truly mandate coverage? Hope you feel better soon! XO

    • Health Insurance is so confusing and I’m sure they like it that way. The loophole they’re using is huge, outrageous and should be illegal! Sorry about your unfortunate viewing experience yesterday. 😦

    • Can you explain more to me about the American plans? How much does it cost to buy coverage for IVF? That’s unheard of in Canada as far as I know. And as for where to move to :my answer is Quebec. Those French people got it figured out but you have to be a resident for 1 year to qualify.

      • Sure! My new plan is $630/month and is for general health insurance, which in this case includes regular doctor visits, emergency care, surgery, drugs and IVF. You can’t just buy a plan for IVF. It doesn’t pay for quite all of IVF– I paid $2,000 extra last year. Sometimes there is even a yearly max for things like anesthesia, etc ($2,000 was the max last year and I went over by $530). There is a $500 deductible up front every year, which means you pay that much yourself first before the insurance will start kicking in. Every time you visit a doctor you have to pay $25 unless it’s considered a followup visit, in which case it’s “free.”. You know… it’s terribly confusing, and it’s totally worth a blog post to explain it better. I’ll just say that we had a pretty good plan last year that included IVF, drugs, vision and dental, and we still paid over $19,000 in addition to our monthly premiums (which I think were about $900 for both of us combined). We did 2 rounds of IVF and a fertility-related minor surgery plus all our routine stuff and a bunch of visits to the chiropractor.

      • Wow. Very different than here, but I’ve heard wait times in Canada can be much longer. We only pay for additional coverage for drugs and things like massage, chiro, etc.

  2. When I had to go back to the OB after my d&e, I cried making the appointment and told the receptionist that I couldn’t be around pregnant women. She scheduled me first thing in the am and they managed to take me back ASAP.

    And even though my health insurance covers IVF meds, I’m hating on Cigna right now. Money hungry bastards. I don’t understand how anyone can work for an insurance company and go home feeling good about themselves.

  3. I had a very similar experience after my miscarriage a couple of years ago – the space they have for people actively miscarrying/post miscarriage SHOULD NOT be the same place as your happy-go-lucky pregnant/new mother section. I have no idea why so many places have not effing figured this out. (Pardon my language, it still just makes me really angry.) I hope you are feeling better in all aspects soon and I am thinking about you. Love and hugs ❤

    • I totally agree… the nurse did, too, and she admitted that a lot of women are there for losses. She said there should be a better system. But I’m not sure I’d love to be ushered into the “Miscarriage Room” either! Goldilocks must have a waiting room somewhere.

  4. I’m sorry the visit was so hard. When I had my follow-up appointment after the twins were born, I had the following conversation with the nurse:
    “How many weeks are you?” – “Um, this is my postpartum appointment…”
    “Oh, so you already delivered” – “Well, yes, but they were stillborn”
    “Ok, I best shut my mouth before I say any more stupid things”
    Hang in there, and recover well from that flu. And maybe also a bit from the other painful experiences.

    • !!!!!!!! That is truly awful!!!! I just wonder why the reason for the visit isn’t already in the chart. And if it is, the nurses should READ the charts before they even enter the room! I’m so sorry. That is outrageous.

  5. How horrible! I totally get this, as a recurrent miscarrier (x6, but happy ending finally!) myself. my OB used to book me on their straight gyn days, so I didn’t have to sit with all the preggos. this helped. A LOT. I couldn’t bear to see so many people experiencing something I felt certain at the time I never would. glad to have found your blog.

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