When I first opened my eyes this morning, my first thought was, “There’s no baby.” Then as K reached over to comfort me, my second and third thoughts were, “Ohh, poor baby, he feels sad, too,” and, “I’m so lucky to have him.” My fourth thought was, “How long have our three cats been on the bed, staring at me? Yikes!”
Then I was faced with a decision: What should I do today?
My D&E was inconveniently pushed off until Wednesday at 1PM, so technically, there is nothing medical on my schedule today except for a pre-registration phone call at 2:30PM. Should I take the day off from teaching viola lessons, knowing that I will also have to cancel Wednesday and Thursday’s students because of the D&E? Or should I keep my usual work schedule so that I don’t just sit here wallowing in self-pity?
So, to help me make that decision, I made a list of things I could do today to feel better. I’m being very conservative with my ideas, and I’m not putting pressure on myself to complete every item on this list; I’ll only do what feels right at the moment.
How I Can Feel Better Today
1. Make a list of things I can do to feel better today. (Check! I feel better already!)
2. Cancel as much work as I can for the week, but don’t wallow in self-pity. Instead, do other things that will make me feel better and help me cope, such as:
3. Re-read and respond to all your wonderful, thoughtful, touching comments on yesterday’s post. After my quartet concert last night (which went well despite everything), I was so exhausted physically and emotionally that it was all I could do to read your comments before I conked out. I honestly slept a little more comfortably knowing that so many people were thinking of me and wishing me well. A giant thank you to A Calm Persistence for sharing my post with her readership. 🙂
4. Wash and put away all the dishes and wipe down the counter tops. Having a clean, uncluttered kitchen makes me feel less lazy and also less embarrassed should we have any last-minute guests.
5. Take a shower, get dressed and put on a little makeup. This little bit of advice came from the FLYlady. It’s surprisingly hard to do on a day like today.
6. Go buy groceries. We are out of most staples here. I’ve often said that grocery shopping is my zen, because I’m not thinking about anything but food. There is satisfaction in providing sustenance for my family, even if my family right now is just K and our three feline fur babies. Plus, I NEED ice cream.
7. Watch the dumba$$ Bachelor on DVR and appreciate that I have already found my soul mate.
8. Respond to a few emails that have been hanging over my head for a while now. In each case, I’ve dragged my feet because, basically, I don’t know how to say NO. Well, people, get ready to read “NO” because that’s what I’m gonna type. NO, NO NO. (Just practicing.)
9. Excuse myself from exercising. I know, I know… they say that exercise improves a person’s mood. Well, not today. Today, NOT exercising is improving my mood already.
10. Spend 15 minutes cleaning out the garage so I can eventually PARK IN IT. Home improvement is always my go-to for post-miscarriage or post-IVF healing. Usually, I want to paint a room or put up shelving, but it feels a little early for that right now. I’ll start thinking about that after tomorrow’s D&E. Right now, 15 minutes in the garage seems manageable.
11. Complete ONE item on my to-do list for the May kickoff concert to my new monthly concert series. Just one item. There are like, 50 things on the list, but that is OK. One item is progress.
12. Arrange a time for Big Brother Big Sister to pick up the clothes and household items I’ve been wanting to give away. Every few months they send a truck to my neck of the woods and I can sign up to have them come right to my front door for free. I feel good about donating to that organization, it’s super convenient, I’m helping needy people, and I always feel positively giddy about getting rid of things I no longer use. K and I are locked in a never-ending battle over that one… he loves collecting things and hates giving anything away… even trash! So I just do it without telling him, and he NEVER notices.
If any of you have other ideas on how to cope today and over the next few days, I’m all ears. ❤