Poof

I had just started believing that this pregnancy might actually be the one, and POOF! it’s gone.

The first HCG on Tue was 892. Terrific number for just over 4 weeks!

The second one, two days later, was 1950. The nurse told me, “it’s a good day.” F*ck her stupid optimism messing up my head.

I went for the third one this morning. I could tell by the way she hesitated that the news wasn’t good. It was 2140. She cried for me on the phone.

The best case scenario for me right now is that the baby has died in utero and I’ll miscarry soon. The worst case scenario is an ectopic.

They’ll test me on Mon to make sure the number goes down. I can expect to start bleeding soon. If neither of those things happen, they’ll do an emergency ultrasound to make sure it’s not ectopic.

After each loss, I always get the urge to do some kind of home improvement. Today it will take the form of a new LED TV! K got a new, better paying job yesterday with a pay raise and an additional 20% bonus, so we have something to celebrate and it makes retail therapy OK. 🙂

We have dinner plans tonight with an 8+ month pregnant couple. God help me. ❤

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